Letting it go

I can’t. I just can’t stop this feeling of dread and anxiety over the last email about money. No response from the solicitor (she does not work every day, but my wobbly self is thinking was it a step too far in asking for input?) I don’t know the answer to that because this is all new.

But as the day has worn on I am imagining he is waiting for my response and all I want to do it show him a number of fingers and tell him ‘in your dreams’. BUT I am rubbish at that sort of thing because no matter how rational I THINK I am being, the result is usually one of me feeling small and foolish when he comes back with his comments.

Please note – he does not make me feel small and foolish – I do that bit all alone because I feel out of my depth and in a way, go in with a defeatist attitude to most of the confrontations we have/had. On the other hand he tells me that I make him do a lot. I make him unhappy, I make him angry, resentful, sarcastic and I MADE him take this overseas job and in so doing, RUINED his life.

Bottom line is I want to hold my head up and say MAN UP you bully and wimp. Stop blaming me and everyone else and take some responsibility and stick to the bloody agreement and learn to economise like most other decent humans on this planet do.

Angry tears now.

Welcome to my new follower, stilllearning2b, your blog is lovely with some great advice.