Monthly Archives: March 2016

Easter break


The running weekend for my youngest almost did not happen as the black dog lingered. Eventually she set off back to Manchester but remained in two minds about the whole thing. Then the ferry she was meant to catch crashed into something….and all travel plans went haywire. After lots of talking she decided to try and find an alternate route and if that was not going to be possible, just come home.

She made it – a ferry at 2:15 in the morning to arrive to do a 10 k run.

In the meantime oldest is back and full of stories about life up north. She plays Japanese pop all the time, which I really don’t get, but otherwise she is well and that makes me happy.

We took a big pile of items to the tip and charity shop including all the ex’s clothes that he left behind. There was a sense of finality with that.

I fell out of the shower and in the night bumped into the headboard on my bed and now have a big red bruise/scrape on both my ankle and forehead.

All my siblings are in touch a lot now about the pending move for my parents. They have left it so late to buy a house that they will be forced to rent in the short term. We think they are just overwhelmed by the whole process of closing this chapter of their lives.

I have not been in touch with dear ones of late but will do so soon…. you know who you are!

May you all have a peaceful, happy Easter break. x







Youngest has been home for a few days to recharge her batteries. She has had a tough time with the Black Dog of late. We talked a lot, ate really healthy food and she ran. I did too, only in the gym along with lifting weights!

She has gone back to get ready for a running festival over Easter…she loves to run and then will return for a few days where she will overlap with her sister, who arrives tonight. It will be lovely to have them both at home.

My father continues to battle bravely with his illnesses, but has been rushed to hospital more than once lately. Good news is that for now, no further invasive treatment, they are giving him a break.

I continue to procrastinate over essays and get very cross with myself. I did manage however, to clean the lawnmower and get it working again and cut the back lawn….

My priorities are a bit off kilter. It has been hard to blog.


Jumping the gun a little


I have found a house that I imagine I would like to live in and am going to see it on Saturday. In fact it is more or less the dream place for me, but I know that without the money in place to make an offer – this little venture will lead to a bit of heart ache…

The move is coming closer though and and some point the search must begin.

Also, one idea is that if I see a smaller house it will make it more easy to rid myself of more bits and pieces long before the move happens.

And, I do like looking at houses.



Little things


My wonderful stepson is on a working holiday in Australia right now. To be able to extend the visa for another year he has to work on a farm for three months. The job he arranged fell through and he has had a tough time finding something to replace it.

The ex said he would speak to his friends about it. Having spent years of my life in rural Queensland and going to school with girls who left to become jillaroos on huge properties, and even owners, I suggested I put the word out too.

I did, on FB, and within an hour there were 3 offers/suggestions and phone numbers to exchange.

My stepson was thrilled and said he was now feeling much better about it all. It is up to him to make something of the connections, but it irked me when I told the ex and he was dismissive. The ex claims that the help was not needed but thanked me for trying. Silly man. I have messages that clearly say otherwise. There is one much more at ease young man sorting out the next stage of his life now.

The little things count. My stepson talking to me about his worries. Amazing people, some I have not seen since school, rallying to help. The power of friendship and connections even if it is electronic.

Reflections on a marriage


After successful surgery and we hope the all clear, the ex and I have settled into a routine of sorts. We have taken turns to cook meals, I have played nursey a bit, but he is healing fast and well. We have had a meal out, seen a film, had coffee in town, talked about some of the things that need to be done on the house, his life in paradise and have sat side by side on the sofa watching programs on the iplayer.

9 years ago this week we arrived in England full of hope and concern for the family we were creating. Daffodils are in bloom now, as they were then. It did not work out. Previous baggage, unrealistic and unshared expectations, my depression and his controlling nature were some of the reasons.

But this last few days as I listen to tales of paradise, I see a man that while is intelligent and sometimes very funny,  is someone who thinks nothing of comparing our lives and situations. He told me my choice (for monetary reasons) of moving to the next town was dodgy, it being a horrible, dangerous place, but was ideal for me and my new start in life!!

We just didn’t know each other well enough when we made the commitment. Our values differ too much. He said he visited a holiday villa that rents out for $35,000 A NIGHT in the peak season on the island…he said at first he thought it was unjustifiable, but after looking round decided it was probably worth it. I think his head has been turned. He bemoans the fact that ALL his friends are millionaires and it is so hard for him.

Those two comments alone do not sit well. Friends are people that you like, respect, have an interest in and they reciprocate that. And with all the homeless, stateless, starving, scared people around the world hoping just to survive, I cannot see the justification in such a property.

So while it has been adult and peaceful and in some ways good to have the company, I found myself feeling very sad today as the dog and I walked on the farm.









One (or more) of life’s curve balls


So, Bologna, city of education, red roof tops and fat (folk I think because the food is so fabulous – although they were mostly slim and fit looking).

The plan was to potter, hang out with sis and her other half, take a ton of photos and relax as mentioned. First night went well, see previous post, but then things went a bit weird.

Firstly I had really bad chest pains and was in or near the bed for all of Saturday. Then the ex wrote to tell me the recent histology report about a mole that was removed showed it was malignant. THEN, my youngest sister wrote to say her other half has been diagnosed with prostate cancer….Yes, we are all in our 50s and that says a lot, but all in one weekend?

I am fine now.. The ex flew back before I did on Monday, meanwhile, I contacted all my old team mates in my previous job in the melanoma and skin cancer unit. Less than 24 hours after landing, minus his suitcase, he was seen and booked for surgery! The news is good, it has not spread and he can go back to paradise in a couple of weeks.

Sister’s man is still waiting and we are all hoping for the best news for him.

But, I liked Bologna, loved being with my sister, and put the pains down to the fact that being alone for so long and coping with everything probably just elevated the stress levels. Then suddenly I have no responsibilities, no dog to walk, nothing and in winding down things went a bit haywire.

I feel lucky and happy to have had the break and relieved that the ex can stop worrying too.




Multilingual mingling


Language schools often bring together people from all over the place. Artist sister’s school in Bologna is no different. Last night some folk went out to bid farewell to a Japanese opera singer who is returning to Japan after six months learning Italian (and watching a lot of opera and doing the odd performance). Two Japanese singers, one Mexican student, one Italian teacher, two Aussies that speak Italian and moi!

The common language was Italian, but at times when things broke down, I was asked to translate from Japanese to English so the teacher could put it back into Italian.

Fabulous fun. Fabulous food. Honestly cannot say when I have had better pasta and we had two excellent meals of it yesterday. We were introduce to frizzante, we called it baby prosecco, but it is a white with the tiniest hint of effervescence. So nice.

Today the sun is shining brightly and we are off into the town to see and do more!


Ciao, bella


Somehow I managed to log out and not be able to log back into WordPress, so my absence has been self inflicted.

Uni has ended in terms of lectures, now it is all essays, transition and placements.

At 5 in the morning I head off to the airport to visit my artist sister and her man in Bologna, Italy for four whole days.

The dog is sorted, the cat is sorted, my Will has been done, thought it was a suitable time given it hasn’t changed since I was married.

I am travelling light and don’t plan on spending much.

I will be taking lots of pics though.