An email was waiting when I got home from my lovely hairdresser’s with a smart new – no longer silver at the roots – cut.
Nasty and mean about me and the girls. It was like a slap. Out of the blue. I cried after reading it. Then, wrote back. The long and the short of it was a furious exchange in which he demanded clarification, explanations and justifications. I laid it all out and gave him the option to take it or leave it.
Then the dam burst I think, on his side. He has been really suffering, tormenting himself with questions and what ifs. The last few emails were gentler, kinder, more introspective and accepting. I hope he now realises that anger and resentment do not allow us time to grieve and that by actually admitting how he feels to himself, it will help him.
He says he is looking forward to moving on and having a better relationship with me now. I am hoping too that this will be possible.
We all come to terms with things at different rates and in different ways. It is easy (as any reader of this will know) to be one sided and forget about how others may feel.
Although I write about my side all the time, I do know there is his side. I have always hoped that at some point some acceptance of his role in the end of our marriage would be forthcoming. There is no great sense of glory, now that it has. It has just lifted a great cloud and cleared the way for both of us to get on with our own lives and, that part of our lives that still overlap.