Goodbyes are exhausting


Early this morning the taxi arrived to take him to the airport. I got up to see him off and to check over the list of things to do…he said that he was surprised that none of us, the girls and I, had asked him anything about his new life. It seems that everyone he met this holiday did, that they were interested in him and what he was doing. He said it was amazing that we had not shown the same level of curiosity.

How does one show all that while at the same time being berated with complaints and accusations and reminders of how much damage one has caused to another human being? How does one show that when the other party talks constantly about themselves when not moaning?

He complained to me once at a dinner party that while the host and guests were nice, he was not enjoying himself because no-one asked him any questions about what he did….

He did however kindly wish me well in my studies and I said that I hoped he would be well and happy and that was it.

Odd, awkward, exhausting.

Thank goodness for decent friends is all I can say. Decent friends and FACETIME. Half an hour on the phone to a lovely one in Japan and my spirit was restored.

I hate feeling doubtful about myself and worrying if I am after all a truly evil person in wanting to break away. Without friends, it would be easy to get swallowed up in such rotten thoughts.

Onward and upward.

Daughter wants me to ride 20k with her on the bike while she runs and the rain is lashing against the windows making me shudder to think of stepping outside. We leave in 30 minutes apparently…..




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