There is a change in the air, in me more than anything. Something is bubbling up from deep inside and it is good. I feel better, more positive, more ready for the challenge of the next step, more committed to the degree and to looking after myself.
For anyone going through the end of a long term relationship I would say:
Cry when you have to.
Be angry (don’t hurt anyone or their property).
Have hateful thoughts (they don’t hurt people if they are only in your head).
Feel sorry for yourself – there is only so much wallowing a person can do and this stage will pass.
Be forgiving of yourself, no one can hold it together all the time and if you crack at work or on the bus etc. that is ok.
Remember that as low as you feel it is only a stage.
Embrace the painful, ugly parts of breaking up – sweeping them aside only means they have to be dealt with later.
I would also say that while huge decisions may have to be made, possibly about where you live, your children, finances, future, work, pets etc., try not to rush them and try not to deal with them all at the same time. Unless you have to.
GET HELP/SUPPORT. See a mediator who is trained and NEUTRAL to help with some of the decisions. This will save money and the dreadful stress of slogging things out between solicitors.
See a counsellor or other health professional to talk through your feelings.
Write things down in a notebook and carry it with you. It can be lists, feelings, ideas, contact numbers anything but it is about you for you.
Don’t be bullied, it does not matter what is being said about you or to you (to some extent, as long as it is not on social media or harmful in any other way). Just remember that you are not that person.
If you have it in you, exercise. Just go for a walk with a dog, a friend, your iTunes, whatever.
All of this is from my own experience. I have great friends and awesome sisters. I love what I do. I think we only have one chance in life and whatever blow we are dealt we need to make the most of it.
I feel better now because of the above and because of all the love that people have shown me.
If anyone reads this, and it helps in any way, then good.